Fear has knocked at my door many times. I experienced the greatest fear so far during the last year of my undergraduate year in college. It all started from a conversation with a Sallie-Mae customer service rep. Yea, we all know about Sallie. I almost passed out when I heard how much I owed in student loans. I knew I had two semesters left in school and would need more money. This amount did not include what I owed for my federal loans. I asked about consolidation (I was told about this feature when I signed up for my first loan) and was told that they stopped that the year before. At that point I was devastated. I had all these plans for graduate school and just life in general but at that point I could only see a brick wall and darkness.
I was down for a while after that conversation. Let’s face it, I was depressed. I had failed and was afraid of the future. I did not know what to do. I was afraid and depressed. On the outside I was fine but deep down I was dealing with a lot. I did not feel that I had anyone to go to that would understand. All of my friends had family that could help them through college. I was alone and knew that I could only depend on myself financially. I had a million questions running through my head. “Will I be able to pay for graduate school?”, How will I pay for it?”, “ Are my career goals crushed?”.
At this point I had to lean on my faith and remind myself that God had NEVER failed me and was not about to start in that moment. I prayed, fasted, read devotionals, and believed. It was not easy but my life depended on it. I did not know how It was going to work out or how HE was going to work it out. Worry and fear were there but I stayed in combat with it. I asked God to make a way and He did.
I had all these plans for graduate school and just life in general but at that point I could only see a brick wall and darkness.
Before I knew it Spring/Summer semester had past. In that time frame I had been accepted into two graduate schools ( the only two I applied to) and received acceptance letters from both. I had a detailed convo with Jesus and reminded him that I could not pay for grad school. I needed money from somewhere. Both schools offered me grants. I chose the school that offered me the greatest benefit. All this took place in the “last hour”.
6 years later I sit and realize that I wasted time and energy on fear. I should have been enjoying myself during the times that I was depressed and my mind was racing because of fear. Instead of enjoying myself, I was in my dorm trying to figure out the unknown. I will admit that I became closest to God during that time. It was just me and Him. I had to put ALL of my faith into practice. I will always remember that short time in my life. I would never wish fear and depression over anyone. I now know to always put my faith over my fear. Hell I still owe Sallie Mae but my needs are taken care of and I have yet to be default in my loans.
I said all that to say that fear is normal. Fear is normal, but it should not be the norm. Here are 3 ways of why fear is wasting your time.
Life happens and does not always go as planned. You will have failures and successes along the way. It’s all a part of life. Even when you think that you are losing, you are actually being set up for the win.
2.Problems are only temporary
When you are smack dab in the middle of a situation it seems like the world stops. It seems to be never-ending. After the storm passes and you look back you will realize that the situation was only temporary. Dust yourself off and get back in the race. Whatever it was is done. You made it through to be able to look back on it.
3. Failure will happen
“you will fail more than you succeed”- David John ( FUBU)
Face it! Failure is a part of life. It is going to happen. The outcome depends on how you choose to deal with it. I was watching The View and one of the founders of the brand FUBU was a guest on the show. He said the statement quoted above and I agree. I remember trying to find a simple job in 2009 and got turned down NUMEROUS times before I landed a much better job with benefits that I stayed at for 5 years.
I wasted time and energy on fear.
Time is valuable. We cannot get it back. Do what you have to do even if you are afraid. Do it afraid. Don’t let your fears keep you comfortable or in a bad situation. Seek God, use your resources, have faith, have courage, and get ish done. Learn from your fears and failures and keep moving. The key to deal with failure is being able to sit and reflect on the situation. Learn from all failures. Treat failures as teachable moments. Success is down the street. You have to believe it!
I have decided to share what the bible says about fear and faith (for all of the believers) and the serenity prayer. The serenity prayer has kept me sane in many crazy situations.
I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27 NLT
So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matt 10:31 NIV
This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 NLT
One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision and told him, “Don’t be afraid! Speak out! Don’t be silent! Acts 18:9 NLT ( look more into this)
Fear is normal, but it should not be the norm
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely
happy with Him forever in the next.